Hobby Modification App; Episode 7, Day 3 : Akane Kousaka 1

　―No more.

　I find myself calmly analyzing the emotions floating in my brain.

　But still, I can't stop myself from looking at LIME.

[I thought you were cute, after all, you are a celebrity]

"～～～～ ! "

　When I saw the message displayed on LIME, I buried my face in my pillow and gave inexpressible words.

　Cute. I've been told this so many times before.

　Words I've been told so many times that I reflexively smiled back at them.

　And yet, it touches my heart so deeply.

　It makes me smirk.  I can't stop smiling.

　I feel as if all my efforts have paid off.

　Appearance is one of the most important things to me.

　Even though I am now an actress instead of an idol, it is still the same as long as I live in the entertainment industry.

　I have never spared any time and effort for beauty, not to mention daily exercises, including beauty stretches.

　I felt as if it had just paid off.

　I was so happy, so happy, I couldn't stand it.

　On the bed, I flop my legs on the pillow with inexpressible words.

　I was told that I am pretty before I became an idol, even before I can remember.

　When I was called the "perfect idol," I was told by more than ten thousand people.

　I don't mean to be egotistical, but I don't mean to be unabashedly modest either.

　Lack of self-confidence affects one's appearance.

　The appearance of those who think they are not shining loses its luster by itself.

　I shine brighter than anyone else. If you don't have the feeling of  'Look at your shining self!' You cannot perform in front of more than 10,000 people.

　If you are insecure about your appearance, you will lose the audience's enthusiasm.

　That's why I'm pretty. I'm more proud of it than anyone else.

　But still.., 

[I thought you were cute, after all, you are a celebrity]

　Just those words, my heart, my heart squeezes tight.

　I pull my face off the pillow a little and glance at my phone, 

"～～～～ ! "

　I plunge my face into the pillow again and flap my legs more.

　Oh no, this is really bad.

　It wasn't supposed to be like this.

　I was just curious. I thought that as long as I met him and talked with him, I would lose interest in him.

　The urge started the day before yesterday.

　I was strangely interested in a boy.

　It all started with a seemingly ordinary incident.

　I was in the class of Japanese classical literature, and I felt his eyes on me, and I glanced over and saw him.

　He was Keisuke Sato. He is a student who does not belong to any class.

　However, even though he does not belong to any group, he has the blandness and the lack of existence that makes him belong to any group.

　He is the type of student that sometimes exists. He is the type of student that sometimes appears in a group. He is a loner who prefers to be alone, even though he has the ability to simply join a circle.

　At first, I smileed at him and thought in my mind it's a service.

　This makes the boys turn red, but not Sato.

    He put his hand on his mouth as if he was thinking about something, then he looked at me and nodded his head apologetically, and turned his eyes forward without seeming to be bothered by it.

　That was what caught me strangely.

　I don't mean to say that all the boys were interested in me, but my idol personality in my heart was lamenting the lack of response.

　Maybe it was after that that I began to think about Sato more and more.

　He was a strange person.

　He was flat to everyone.

　Whether it was me or others, he was the same.

　He does not respond to everyone the same way but changes his response to each person, making the relationship the same for everyone.

　More than a classmate, less than a friend. That's how he keeps everything consistent.

　Such a person has been looking at me more than necessary.

　It bothered me strangely, and I couldn't help but notice it.

　I think it was because of that.

　At night, when I came home, I masturbated thinking about him.

　I've never masturbated to anyone in particular before.

　I was busy, but I knew it would interfere with my performing career, so I restrained myself from doing it.

　But I can't stop it.

　I am not a sexually active person.

　It's hard to even remember the times when we did it, and the only time I really did it was after a live concert or when I was too excited.

　But yesterday, I couldn't stop.

　In my mind, I see Sato's face looking at me.

　Usually, I imagine being raped by someone whose face I can't see, but yesterday I clearly saw Sato's face.

　Sato touches my breast, my precious place.

　That excited me very, very much.

　As if prompted by my excited head, I comforted myself with my own hands.

　But no matter how much I comfort myself, I just won't stop getting excited.

　I keep thrusting my fingers into the shameful place that has melted into a sludge.

　I rub my finger on the nipple, which I have hardly ever touched before.

　As I was thrusting around without knowing why my body started to jerk up and down many times.

　Each time, I felt a sensation as if my eyes were turned inside out and a euphoric feeling that made my brain go blank.

　I masturbated, even with drool dripping from the corners of my mouth.

　―I masturbated until I was so tired that I fell asleep.

　The next day, when I came to school, I couldn't see Sato's face properly.

　My life was as usual, but my heart was in a storm.

　Despite the shame I felt, I still wanted to see him.

　From that time, I began to think that I was in trouble.

　I began to have strange feelings for Sato.

　It was only a disadvantage for me as an entertainer.

　So, I went to his club today.

　I was going to have a long talk with him once and end this strange feeling by making up my mind that he is just an ordinary student.

　That's what I thought.

　As it turned out, within five minutes after I started talking with him, all such thoughts had vanished from my mind.

　Talking with him, I lost track of time.

　We have a good time, and the conversation never stops.

　I watch his face as he talks to me without hesitation.

　I am so happy to see my reflection in his eyes that I keep looking at his face.

　As we spend time together, I can feel my heart melting away.

　 I talked with him for a long time until eventually, a girl in the same club room told me 'It's time for club activities to end! Dismissed!',

　I was so sad to see him go that I even exchanged LIME's contact information, which I had never given to anyone in this school, and said  'See you tomorrow!'  as I was about to leave.

　―I went home and LIME'd with him to carry on the conversation in the club room.

　My heart pounded in my chest with each LIME exchange.

　I finally asked him.

[What do you think of me?]

　The reply I got was this.

[I thought you were cute, after all, you are a celebrity]

　Though it was not what I had expected, the words pierced deep into my heart.

　It's an ordinary word, it's something I've been told many times before, but just because he said it, it pierced me so deeply.

　Without realizing it, my hand reaches out to the embarrassing place on my lower body.

　I put my hand between my prone body and the bed, and while brushing through the sheets, I shift my pajamas and slip my hand inside my shorts.

　I hear a wetting sound with my fingertips as they reach out.

　I can feel my face turning red. I found out today. This is what happens to me when I talk to him.

　I feel shame, but I can't stop my fingers from playing with my embarrassing places.

"Ah... "

　My brain goes numb with each squeaking sound.

　Blowing surprisingly hot breath on my phone, I reply to the message 'I'm glad you said I'm pretty."

　Immediately, a beep sounds from my phone.

[Everyone thinks so]

　Seeing those letters made my heart shrink.

　I wanted to tell him that what Sato said was important to me.

　―I'm only doing this because Sato said I was cute.

　As if to make an excuse, I played hard with my own clitoris.

"Anngh... ! "

　My whole body was filled with a fluttering sensation.

　The back of my eyes flickers.

　My numb head is dizzy.

　My head is filled with excitement.

　I wonder what would happen if he whispered in my ear, for example, instead of writing.

　What if he whispers in my ear [Akane, you're so cute] in his own voice..?

　The moment I thought of that, I was hit by a thrill of pleasure that made my whole body tremble.

　I lifted my upper body unintentionally.

　Oh, that's... the kind of thing that would make me―

　I get a series of shivers in my body.

　I was going to come just by imagining it.

　The movement of my fingers rubbing my clitoris becomes so fast that I can't control it.

　I could already hear it in my brain.

　Today, he whispers to me in his voice, his smell, the way he looks, the way he talks to me after school.

[Akane, you're so cute]

"Ugh― ! "

　My body tensed up. I can feel myself coming lightly.

　But I can't stop fantasizing.

　Because, because, I can hear it.

    I can hear those words in my ear, so close that I can hear him breathing.

[Akane, you're so cute]

"Nnngh.. !  "

　Flickering in the back of my brain. In response, I press my breasts against the bed.

　My nipples rub against my pajamas. Feeling them, I thrust my fingers into her soggy, wet clitoris.

　My hips jerk up.

　But my finger doesn't stop moving.

　As if crushed by my prone upper body, a loose sensation of pleasure comes to me continuously from my breasts, which have changed their shape.

　I feel my hips swaying from side to side to release the pleasure.

　I saw him in my fantasy grabbing my waist.

"Ahh, don't, Sato....♡"

　He was still holding my waist. And yet, I hear his voice saying, [Akane, you're so cute].

　I don't understand.

　I was going crazy with pleasure.

　He was aiming at my embarrassing spot from behind.

　To keep up with my fantasy, I pinched my clitoris as if I was peeling it off.

" ―!!! "

　I felt a pleasure that made the back of my eyes turn inside out and a floating sensation hit my whole body.

    As soon as I felt it, my lower body, which had been hovering above the bed, fell down on the bed with a thud, as if I had lost all my strength.

　It's not enough.

　I can still hear it in my ears.

[Akane, you're so cute]

　I felt a copious amount of liquid coming out of the embarrassing place where I had been suppressing it.

"Haaah, haaa......Sato......♡"

　When I call his name, I feel an unbearable sadness in the back of my chest.

    I want to drown like this.

　I want to give up everything I have and go to him――

　I was shocked.

"No!  Pull yourself together, Akane!  This is no time to be getting carried away with love! "

　I slap my cheeks so hard that they pop.

　I look at my phone, conscious of my painful cheeks.

　I send a "thank you" stamp to Sato on LIME so that he won't see that text, and after I'm done with LIME, I head for the bathroom to take a cold shower.

　―At bedtime, I was tossing and turning on the bed.

　After I took a shower, I thought that I would think of him again.

　And yet, even though I've decided so, when I'm about to go to bed, I can't help but have that message flickering in my mind.

　I can't sleep if I stay like this.

　So, I have no choice. This is the act of going to sleep.

　I open LIME again.

[I thought you were cute, after all, you are a celebrity]

"～～～～ ! "

　My heart squeezes with an inarticulate voice the moment I see it.

　I could feel my face breaking into tears. I can feel joy blooming in my heart.

　Just looking at his message made my heart melt. I want to see it again, I think.

　No. Just one more time, just one more time.

　It's all right. You'll be satisfied. I'll get over it.

　No matter how big the stage is, I have always been successful.

　I am confident in my mental strength.

　I've been fighting in the world of entertainment since I was a child.

　I, Akane Kousaka, will not be destroyed by this.

　I think like praying, with my forehead against my phone.

    *    *    *

　―I wait for him in the classroom, glancing at the entrance.

　

    I look for anything out of place.

    I touch my body with my hand and pay attention to my appearance.

　

　I wonder how many times I have done this.

　There is nothing wrong with me.

　I always give 100%.

　But now I wanted to give more than that.

　I am confident in my appearance. If I didn't have confidence, I wouldn't be an idol.

　But still, I feel insecure.

　Then I saw him at the entrance of the classroom.

　At that moment, all my insecurities were gone at once, as if I had no idea what had happened before.

　As if I had been shot, I rushed to the entrance of the classroom.

"Good morning, Sato!"

　I can feel my heart melt just by seeing him.

　Maybe it's not good.

　Maybe I should leave him as soon as possible.

　But I wanted to enjoy this time just a little bit more.

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